Tweeting Pigeons

You may recall a past absurdity in the shape of parrots chatting to each other using iPads and Zoom where they were actually interacting with their feathered friends from afar without having to fly there first, well… in the spirit of absurdity, someone (real or otherwise) has opened the comms channels to the less conversational avians - namely the pigeons.

…a story so bizarre, so utterly… avian-garde, it’ll ruffle your feathers!

Sources – and by sources, I mean a slightly blurry, possibly photoshopped image sent in by a listener named “Bartholomew Birdbrain” – appear to depict… A veritable parliament of poultry, allegedly ENGAGED in the act of… typing. On a keyboard. Slathered, I might add, in what appears to be… crispy, delectable bacon fat.

Yes, you heard that right! Bacon. Fat. Keyboard. It’s a culinary crime scene and a technological… tweet-astrophe all rolled into one! But the story gets weirder, folks. Oh, it gets so much weirder.

These weren’t just random pecks, oh no. These weren’t some avian attempt at abstract expressionism. According to Bartholomew’s… eyewitness account (and I use that term loosely, given the alleged proximity of said witness to a rather aggressive-looking goose), these birds… they typed something. Something… specific.

O… O… O… M… M… M… M… G… G… G… G… G… G… SIX! SIX! SIX! SIX! SIX! SIX! SIX!

What cryptic message from the avian overlords is this?! Is it a prophecy? A demand for more millet?! A commentary on the declining quality of bird baths in the metropolitan area?! The mind… it flaps with possibilities!

But wait, there’s more! Apparently, this wasn’t the only profound pronunciation pecked out by our bacon-fingered… I mean, bacon-beaked… brethren. No, no, no! They went on! They continued their digital… doodling!

ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO!
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What could it MEAN?! Is it a secret code? A countdown to the next bird seed delivery? The rhythmic tapping of tiny talons on the keys… could it be… Morse code for “more worms”?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This is absurd!” “This is fowl play!” And you might be right! But consider this: we underestimate our feathered friends at our peril! They watch us. They judge us. And perhaps… just perhaps… they’re finally finding their voice in the digital age, one bacon-greased peck at a time!

Don’t believe me? Check out the Twitter feed https://x.com/hungry_birds
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Ep329

Image created by AI